thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
