Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
