He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
