i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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