i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
