No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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