i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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