I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
