Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
