i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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