I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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