Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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