its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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