I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
