i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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