Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
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They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
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He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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