you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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