I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
