I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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