No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
