69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
