so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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