The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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