Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize