My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
