lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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