when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
