mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
