My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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