Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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