I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
