it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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