we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
