508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If I had your ass I would rule the world
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
