Nicole vs. Life
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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