He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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