I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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