Cold hands, warm shart.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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