Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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