Im at strip club and am horny
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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