did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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