Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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