I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
