Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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