Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My ass is underappreciated
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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