Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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