glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize