I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
