I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
