what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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