You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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