I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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