just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
