If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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