i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
