I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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