I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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