It's a beautiful day for a hangover
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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